Untangling Emotions
How are you supposed to feel, how do you deal with more proof of the disintegration of humanity? When you feel like crying on the inside but the tears of sadness are at war with anger, confusion, pain, frustration, empathy and some other emotions that are yet to be identified. Well, prayer is the first thing I dove into, then I felt the need to write down the mixed up feelings I still struggled with. Yeah, it may be that God just wants me to practice writing these things, since I am supposed to be writing a book anyway. God is the only one that can give us any peace to replace this mad array of feelings. Praise His name!
Now, how do I put in words such twisted events that seem to careen right into each other until they no longer seem to be separate; just one ugly blur. First I thought of calling someone, but really did not want to bring anyone down, so here I am…
How is it that now I am almost as concerned with the offender as I am with the victims? Why am I praying that he gets help so his life does not spiral downward, almost before praying for the ones he hurt? Maybe because I see healing for the victims, as this offense did not go as far as one so close to my heart. Maybe because I think the guilty is suffering more than anyone and it’s doubtful he will get any support or love from friends or loved ones? Does he have any now? If so, will he tell them? Will he try to get help, so there can be healing and forgiveness, or will he fall into darkness?
“Please God, help him to get the help he needs right now, and precipitate forgiveness by all involved. Help those affected to look to you for clarification of their feelings, wisdom in moving forward, and help to forgive. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
